Virginity, and what it means, and what it has to do with hymens is often misunderstood and there is a lot of incorrect information out there. It is important we all know the real facts. This is especially so for anyone who has been sexually abused or assaulted or had any type of sexual contact that they were not OK with.
We hope to set the story straight with Just the Facts.
The hymen is a stretchy collar of tissue that has nothing to do with virginity.
The hymen is set just inside the vaginal entrance and is well protected by the two layers of lips of the vulva, the labia major and the labia minora. It is stretchy (view the diagram below).
The hymen is a stretchy collar of tissue just inside your vaginal entrance (the passage to your womb). The hormone (chemical) oestrogen changes the appearance of your hymen over your lifetime. After puberty (when you develop breasts and get periods), the hymen becomes more stretchy – a bit like a hair scrunchy. Just like our noses are all slightly different, our hymens are all slightly different too.
Some hymens may develop a small tear when stretched. The hymenal tissue is well supplied with blood, so will bleed. Most people heal very quickly and there is no sign of damage within a few days. This is the same story for other little splits that might happen anywhere at the vaginal entrance.
Check out what Laci G says about this in her YouTube video
Someone who has been sexually abused may believe that their virginity has been stolen or taken away from them. Their family might think this too!
Do you think that someone who has been abused has chosen for that to happen? No.
Do you think they are still a virgin? Yes.
You are still a virgin until the time you choose to have sex with someone.
Your future sexual partners won’t know what has happened to you unless you choose to tell them.
You won’t feel any different down below to anyone else if you have been abused.
People who have been abused have had the control taken away from them. This information about the truth about virginity gives the power and control back to them to make decisions about sex that they want to make.
A lot of traditional views on virginity are based on religious and cultural beliefs that have nothing to do with the facts.
In some cultures, a show of blood after the wedding night, “virginity tests”, hymen examinations and even hymen reconstruction were and are still practiced.
However, medical knowledge has progressed a long way since then and it is important that we reframe our beliefs on virginity based on what we now know. For some of us, this means challenging our religious and cultural beliefs.
Your body belongs to you, you have control over it and it is up to you to decide who you want to have sex with and when.
If you are worried about sexual abuse or assault, click here for more information.
Over the course of history, there is very little written about male virginity.
We have always known that we can't tell by looking at male genitals if they are virgin or not. In fact, just like females, you cannot tell if a male is a virgin, unless you ask him.
JUST THE FACTS is brought to you by the Sexually Transmitted Infections Education Foundation (STIEF) - an initiative funded by the Ministry of Health through collective District Health Boards (20) to educate New Zealanders about STIs. District Health Boards (DHBs) are responsible for providing or funding the provision of health services in their district.
The medical information in JUST THE FACTS is based on the STIEF and NZ Sexual Health Society Guidelines for the management of STIs. The New Zealand Ministry of Health supports the use of these clinical guidelines, developed by clinical experts and professional associations to guide clinical care in New Zealand.
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