Safer anal sex

What is anal sex?

Anal sex is when a penis or other object is inserted into a partner’s anus. Like any other sexual behaviour, some people find it very pleasurable and others don’t. Some people are curious about it, and others know it’s not something they are comfortable with.

How can someone practice safe anal sex?

Anal sex carries the highest risk of passing on sexually transmitted infections, followed by vaginal and then oral sex. (You cannot get pregnant from anal sex.) This is because the lining of the anus is quite delicate. However, there are lots of ways to ensure that anal sex is as safe as possible.

1. Use condoms.

Using a condom with condom-safe lubricant, or dental dams every time you have anal sex, will help protect you and your partner from sexually transmitted infections. Remember to change condoms if you switch from anal sex to vaginal sex, to avoid spreading bacteria from the anus into the vagina.

2. Use condom-safe lubricant (e.g. KY jelly, etc.)

The anus is not 'self-lubricating' (it doesn't produce its own substance that makes it slippery and reduces friction). This means that it's possible for small tears to the tissue in the anus to occur during penetration (by a penis or other object). These tears allow bacteria and viruses to enter the bloodstream, which can result in the spread of STIs, including HIV. This is why people are more likely to get certain STIs, including HIV and HPV, from receptive anal sex compared to other types of sex. Using an artificial lubricant can help prevent this tearing - so lube is important for both safe and pleasurable anal sex.

Remember: some types of lube, including oil-based ones, aren't compatible with condoms, because they can damage the latex of the condom. Condom-safe lubricants are water-based - check the lubricant packaging to find out what it's made of. Sometimes it will tell you if it's condom safe on the packed, too. There are special lubricants for anal sex which contain benzocaine, an agent that desensitises the anus and can make penetration more comfortable.

3. Take it slow & communicate

Particularly if it's someone's first time trying anal sex, it's really important to start slowly. If someone rushes, or doesn't use enough lubrication, anal sex may be painful. There are a lot of nerve endings in and around the anus area, so there are lots of parts that can feel nice when stimulated. Someone might decide to start off touching the outside of the anus with fingers before introducing a finger inside the anus.

Of course, communication is key to knowing whether something feels nice or what pace someone wants to go at. Someone might also feel more comfortable in a certain position, if you're not sure, you could check, "do you want to move to be more comfortable?" It's important that someone is physically relaxed - if they're not, their muscles will tense up, including the ones around the anus, which could make things uncomfortable. Creating a safe and caring environment can help everyone feel physically and emotionally comfortable.

4. Good hygiene is important

Even if neither partner has an STI, the bacteria that are naturally present in the anus could still cause an infection. For example, if someone practices vaginal sex after anal sex, this could introduce these bacteria into the vulva/vagina area and cause a urinary tract infection. Using a new condom or putting a condom on when moving from anal sex to vaginal sex can help.

It's a good idea that someone has clean and short fingernails before stimulating the anus with their hand, in order to avoid scratching or passing on bacteria. It's also a good idea to empty your back passage (a.k.a. do a poo) if you need to, before any type of anal sex/anal stimulation.

How to discuss anal sex with a partner?

As with all types of sex, it's vital to discuss it with a partner first. We're all responsible for making sure that we respect our sexual partners' boundaries, and ensure that any type of sex is good and fun for everyone involved. This means ensuring that someone is enthusiastic about whatever type of sex we're doing, and freely consents to it, without pressure. If someone agrees to do something sexual because they're been forced, pestered or pressured, that's not consensual.

Remember also that consent is an ongoing conversation - for example, someone may be up for doing something, and then change their mind or want to take a break. Their partner must absolutely respect this, and it's not okay to make someone feel guilty or bad for changing their mind.

Someone might choose to explore anal stimulation by themselves first, to figure out what feels nice for them and their body.

The Burnett Foundation Aotearoa has further information on anal sex, including a helpful video guide.