Masturbation
Masturbation is when someone touches their own body for sexual pleasure. This often means touching the genitals, but it can also include touching other parts of the body that feel good.
Masturbation is a normal part of human sexuality. Some people masturbate often, some people do it sometimes, and some people do not masturbate at all. All of these can be normal. There is no "right" amount.
Masturbation is also private. It should happen in a private place where you feel safe, comfortable, and will not be watched or interrupted.
People may masturbate for different reasons, including:
- To feel pleasure
- To relax
- To release sexual tension
- To learn what feels good for their body
- To help with sleep or stress
- To explore their sexuality
- Simply because they want to.
Masturbation does not need to have a “serious” reason. It is okay to masturbate, and it is also okay not to.
- Masturbation does not make you infertile
- It does not cause blindness
- It does not shrink your genitals
- It does not mean something is wrong with you
- It does not mean you are “too sexual”
- It does not mean you have to have sex with someone else.
Masturbation is one way people may explore their body and pleasure. It should feel safe, private and within your control.
Masturbation may be worth talking about with a trusted health professional if:
- It causes pain, bleeding, injury or skin irritation
- You feel unable to stop even when you want to
- It is getting in the way of school, work, sleep, relationships or daily life
- You are doing it in places that are not private
- You feel distressed, ashamed or worried about it
- Someone else is pressuring you to masturbate, watch them, or be watched.
You are not in trouble if you ask for help. A health professional can talk with you in a private, respectful and non-judgemental way.
Mutual masturbation is when two or more people masturbate while together. This might mean each person touches their own body, or people touch each other with consent.
Mutual masturbation is sexual activity. Like all sexual activity, it needs clear consent, respect and communication. Everyone involved should feel free to say yes, no, pause, slow down, change what is happening, or stop at any time.
Mutual masturbation can be a safer way to explore intimacy because it does not involve pregnancy risk if there is no sperm near the vagina. It can also have a lower risk of STIs than some other kinds of sex, especially if body fluids are not shared and sex toys are not shared. However, STI risk is not always zero. Some infections can be passed through skin-to-skin contact, body fluids, or shared sex toys.
Mutual masturbation can be a good option for people who want intimacy without penetration. It may also be helpful for people who experience pain with vaginal or anal sex, or for people who are still learning what feels good for their body.
Tips for making mutual masturbation safer and more enjoyable
- Talk first about what each person is comfortable with
- Check in during it, not just before
- Only do what everyone freely agrees to
- Remember there is no pressure to “go further”
- Wash hands before and after
- Use lubricant to reduce friction
- Avoid touching your partner’s genitals after touching your own if there may be body fluids involved, unless you have both agreed and understand the risks
- If using sex toys, clean them before and after use
- If sharing sex toys, use a new condom on the toy for each person, or use separate toys
- Do not share toys between the anus and vagina without changing the condom or cleaning the toy properly first
- Stop if anything hurts, feels uncomfortable, or no longer feels okay.
Mutual masturbation can be a respectful and pleasurable way to explore intimacy. It can help people learn about their own body and their partner’s body without pressure, penetration or expectations.